Toasty Postie on Yo Ass.

Peter Goers: The great letter letdown has me going postal

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/opinion/peter-goers-the-great-letter-letdown-has-me-going-postal/news-story/e2a047e7d12c9b58ae7dbdaf4eab36ff

Peter Goers, Sunday Mail (SA)

January 23, 2016 9:30pm




OLDER readers (bless you) will recall that the postman always whistled twice. We had two postal deliveries a day and one on Saturdays. Now we have three classes of mail — and a letter may take up to six days to be delivered.

The sun has finally set on the British Empire. The British invaded 171 out of a possible 193 countries and perpetrated genocide, exploitation and the rape and pillage of resources (some noisy, racist patriots are horrified that the Chinese are buying up bits of Australia but had no problem with Lord Vestey and other Poms owning vast land in northern Australia and exploiting workers).

I digress. I digress professionally. The British did provide three good things: the world’s best postal system (which they invented), railways (ditto) and eventually a highly imperfect kind of democracy which favoured the ruling class. All of these things have been corrupted or lost.

The last to go is the postal system — once OHMS (On Her Majesty’s Service) — like George Lazenby but much better.

Despite “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night (nor punctuation) stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds” being the more poetic than the true credo of the US Postal Service, it’s always been inferior to ours.

After all, the notorious drunk writer and ne’er-do-well Charles Bukowski worked for the postal service in Yankee Land. One can never seem to find a post office in the US and their mail is often slow and unreliable.

Now ours is too. The service is slumping. I had a very bad experience with Australia Post in early December. Customarily, I have my mail held from the day before I go away on holidays. It wasn’t held.

After frantic phone calls to 13 numbers (at my expense) and long waits while I’m told how important my call is, I learned that the paperwork I sent did not exist even though I was holding a copy and the receipt in my hand.

These days, the customer is always wrong and I had to photograph the paperwork and send it to Sydney. I was promised a refund which took six weeks to arrive — perhaps by third-class mail.

We kid ourselves that Australia is classless but our mail was. Not anymore. The rich get better service.

It now costs $6 to send an ordinary envelope by first-class mail, $1.50 for second-class (1-4 days) and $1 third-class (up to six business days or nearly two weeks if there’s a public holiday).

Of course, the epistolary age is passing, more’s the pity, and history will suffer. Some years ago, a young colleague in the media had no idea how to address an envelope. He had never done so in his 20 years.

Conversely, parcels of internet-bought booty are whizzing around the globe — although isn’t Amazon slow and expensive?

 Australia Post is not delivering good service. As an ardent correspondent (keep those cards and letters coming in) I’ve always said that I have never lost a letter or parcel — until last November when a small parcel I sent to Adelaide never arrived.

Meanwhile, it costs more for a lesser service and we continue to help pay Ahmed Fahour’s salary. He’s the managing director of Australia Post and is reportedly earning $4.8 million a year or $92,302 a week.

He’s also sacked lots of Australia Post workers which must have helped slow down the mail. The rich get richer and the poor get third-class mail. Then companies badger us to get bills and statements by email which saves them the postage yet don’t offer us a discount for their savings. Some companies are charging $2 to send you a paper bill. This is a rip-off.

None of this is the fault of the good old postie who does his or her work with quiet, excellent efficiency. Counter staff in post offices (which have become gift stores) serve us well.

However, I hope that when I reply to my increasingly aged correspondents that they live long enough to get the letter.

Peter Goers can be heard weeknights on 891 ABC Adelaide